the stubborn you vs the sober you

p/s: thanx to my darling twinnie for u-noe-what-u-did-to-me the last time we talked.*pouts*hihi~ i ended up coming out with this,bb,specially dedicated to myself,the stubborn mayo.but may i put the blame on u,huni?kekeke~

it is time to let go.
time to spread your wings and go further, deeper, and do better.
but you refuse to.
stubborn.
very stubborn,i should say.
but you say 'ignorance is bliss'.
yes,indeed.
yet what's the point in staying if you feel no other than nothingness?
what's the point in holding on if you fail in every attempt you do?
what's the point in believing that everything will be fine, sooner or later
if you cant see the end of your journey and you cant see the answers to all those questions?
then you smirk with sarcasm, but that is simply because
you admit it in you yet you are scared to utter it.
so, you close your eyes.
you stop thinking for a while and you breathe easy.
and you listen.
...
" the butterflies that choke you inside will disappear before you know it.the heartstrings of yours will keep you stronger than you've ever been.the pregnant sky will stop soaking you with its hurtful raindrops.the world will once again smile for you to see.if you just believe that there's a miracle somewhere along the line."
...
you laugh at this for you think it's weird and meaningless.
then why dont you just give it up?
just give it up.
for once.
why dont you?
why dont you lash out at yourself and think things through?
why keep on pulling a little prank on yourself and deny the sane you?

heartquake

slouching on the chair,
the memories come flooding into mind;
merry laughters.
indescribable emotions.
sinful secrets.
empty stares.
repentance wounds.
yearning for miracles.

...

bubbles

you cant contain them in you any longer,
you feel so tired and exhausted.
hence, you let them go.
you blow your soul away,
you see them escaping you slowly, freely.
and right away you feel light inside.

yes, you feel so light.

you watch those transparent, colorless image that reflect the innocent rainbow,
those small, round crystals that seem so graceful dancing in the air,
those countless, delicate foams of your soul's soap that hold your strength in,

your sanity,

your guts,
your everything,

leaving you further
and further away.
you leave them on their own,

uncared, unloved.

but you leave them untouched, for you fear your cold fingertip might break them.
and you wish they would remain the way they are.

nevertheless.

you wish they would remain unbroken and visible to your very own eyes.
you wish unseen wings would keep them swaying up to the sky bed
sticking with the cloud during the day and dancing with the stars at night.
you wish all that.
despite the truth that they would disappear before you could even whisper all those wishes to them
and the truth that you are no longer you the moment you blow them to mingle with the air of nowhere.